


hold your breath, don't let go

by Aderie



Category: Naruto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 20:14:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21994450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aderie/pseuds/Aderie
Summary: If Jiraiya made good on his promise
Relationships: Jiraiya & Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	hold your breath, don't let go

Jiraiya was scared. Terrified. Perhaps more than he'd ever been in his life. 

Their house was cold. There were still dishes left in the sink from a recent meal. Documents sat on a table by the window, where Minato had left them. Jiraiya could imagine Kushina really handing it to him about the mess.

The house was cold, and their baby was held tight in jiraiya's arms.

He couldn't bare to keep the boy in the nursery they'd set up for him, terrified to let the baby leave his sight, and he couldn't bring himself to sleep in their bed.

He'd spent two nights sitting on the couch in the living room, clutching the baby. He was so small. One of Naruto's small hands wrapped around Jiraiya's index finger, and he held his breath. 

It was too much. It was too much. How could he do this. His student was gone, the hokage was gone, and he was just going to live in his house? Raise his son?

Jiraiya was terrified. Naruto squeezed his index finger. He held him closer. Jiraiya slept on the couch.

*****

Naruto had just turned six. The nursery had been converted to a bedroom, and much of the old furniture and decor had been changed out. Jiraiya had spent too long living with ghosts to let Naruto receive the same treatment. 

He still sometimes slept on the couch. He had moved it early on when Naruto first started sleeping on his own. If one sat on the edge of the couch they could see the hall and into Naruto's bedroom, if the door was open. 

Jiraiya was still scared sometimes. That something would happen to this boy. 

On his birthday he had gotten a large cake and Naruto had smiled up at him and it was as though the sun was in the room. Jiraiya had held his breath. 

He'd been doing that a lot more often ever since he'd started taking care of Naruto. As though if he could just hold in that breath forever the moment wouldn't end.

*****

Naruto was eleven now. Jiraiya had been happy to teach him when he's said he'd wanted to be a ninja. Jiraiya had held his breath so long he'd almost passed out when Naruto said he wanted to be a ninja just like him!

Naruto seemed slow at first. It was hard for him to learn things, even the basics like most of the kids his age could. But Naruto wanted to learn, and he had the will to keep trying no matter how many times he failed. Not to mention he had a chakra level to rival most chunin.

By the time he had graduated to genin Naruto had mastered shadowclones, transformation, and he'd been making good progress on his summoning. 

It had been years since jiraiya had worked on his book. He hadn't done any research since he’d started taking care of Naruto. He didn't need any of that anymore.

Besides, he had his hands full, taking care of a kid is a full time job, let alone one with the spirit of a fox demon inside him.

*****

When Naruto came back from his first real mission, when he told jiraiya that he and his team, mere genin, had fought zabuza, the demon of the hidden mist, and lived to tell about it he'd been proud.

When Naruto said, "now I'm a real ninja, just like you!" Jiraiya had held his breath. Of course, he still wouldn't be letting kakashi take Naruto on any big missions any time soon.

That night he slept on the couch, where he could see the steady rise and fall of Naruto's chest as he slept in his room.

Jiraiya closed his eyes. And he was scared. And he was sad. And he was so very happy.

He listened to the sound of Naruto's snore until he drifted off to sleep as well.


End file.
